For starters, the class went very very well. I had 11 students and everyone enjoyed the cass immensely.
I needed the class. Just before I left for class I came very close to a breakdown. I had one last conversation after making the last post online. I was on the phone with the hospital while the IM conversation was going on.
It has been established that the hospital has told me there is ‘no one’ matching the description. They won’t even give me the impression one way or the other if I’m close or not. The conversation below shows exaclty how far my mother has taken things. By the time I’d finished being on the phone with St. Margret’s and dealing on line. I basically couldn’t take any more. I’d reached the limit.
I don’t know what’s going on anymore. Nothing makes sense. I can’t put anything together and no one will help me. I feel like I’m going to lose it and be a person who they’ll talk abput trying to reason why he wound up on a clock tower with a rifle. I just can’t handle much more of this. It’s just getting to me.
(05:54) Andrei: You gotta tell me what’s going on here. I’m kind of losing it.
(05:54) SisAIM: We all are.
(05:54) SisAIM: Did you get her EMail?
(05:54) Andrei: I got the mail. St. Margarets isn’t closing, St. Francis is. Neither says they have anybody with her desctription anywhere in the hospital. No one on file with any name
(05:54) Andrei: What the fick?
(05:55) Andrei: they won’t tell me anything.
(05:55) Andrei: All she has to do is tell them to call me.
(05:55) Andrei: I don’t know where she is.
(05:55) SisAIM: I gave them your number. They said to us someone will call you by Friday.
(05:55) Andrei: Where. Where are they
(05:56) SisAIM: St. Margrets
(05:56) Andrei: No more they’s no more “it” I need a hospital name.
(05:56) Andrei: St. Margarets aid there was no such person
(05:56) Andrei: I called.
(05:56) SisAIM: I know she is there, I was there, the sign said St Margrets.
(05:56) Andrei: What name is she under?
(05:57) Andrei: St. Margarets isn’t closing in two days.
(05:57) Andrei: St. Margarets _is_ UPMC
(05:57) SisAIM: I did not look on her band. I would gather Married name).
(05:57) Andrei: The email and everything do not add up anymore
(05:57) SisAIM: D*** is not all with it, give her a little slack.
(05:57) Andrei: Did she or tell anyone that I was authorized to speak to them?
(05:58) SisAIM: I do not know. I do not think so, she was pretty out of it most of the time I was there. Also, I do not like being treated this way, by you or S***. This is hard on me anyways.
(05:59) SisAIM: I do not have to be here, I am here because I love your sister, and care, a lot.
(05:59) Andrei: I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be taking this out on you. I hope you understand that. I hope you can understand how hard this is from my end gettin information only on the occassional log in. I have absolutely nothing concretew whatsoever to go on. I reaklly am not taking this out on you. I don’t know what to think or believe.
(06:00) SisAIM: Would you believe S***, or me? I am here and honest to you. S*** is not honest and told me that in the first place she was in Shadyside.
(06:01) SisAIM: I told S*** never to lie to me like that again.
(06:01) Andrei: you have to understand. I don’t even know who you are. But even that is better than my mother. But in honesty.. I really only can know anything for sure directly. You have to understand that.
(06:01) SisAIM: yes.]
(06:01) Andrei: What did she say, when you told her thuis?
(06:02) SisAIM: S*** rolled her eyes and left.
(06:02) Andrei: On that I alone can believ you.
(06:03) SisAIM: She has this thing for coming to her house, sitting and smoking, ciggarette after ciggarette. I smoke, but not as much.
(06:03) SisAIM: All she does is complain.
(06:04) SisAIM: I’m sorry for all of this. I really am, bro.
(06:05) Andrei: Was she still in ICU?
(06:05) SisAIM: no
(06:05) Andrei: Do you remeber a room number.
(06:06) SisAIM: sorry, I threw out my name tag.
(06:06) Andrei: A floor number?
(06:06) SisAIM: 5, I think.
(06:06) SisAIM: I can call you from her room, tomorrow.
(06:06) SisAIM: Good idea?
(06:07) Andrei: Do you remember the name of anyone you spoke to?
(06:07) Andrei: 2 bed room/ 1 bed room?
(06:07) SisAIM: private room, and no.
(06:07) SisAIM: Oh, I talked to the head nurse.
(06:07) Andrei: name.
(06:07) Andrei: description.
(06:07) SisAIM: Forgot, sorry.
(06:07) Andrei: Descriptions
(06:08) SisAIM: Blond, blue, 5’3″?
(06:08) SisAIM: glasses
(06:08) SisAIM: Late 30’s
(06:08) Andrei: Tin, heavyset
(06:08) Andrei: thin?
(06:08) SisAIM: Tin?
(06:08) SisAIM: medium.
(06:09) SisAIM: be right back. need to reboot.
<D*** T. signed off (06:09:29 PM)>
<D*** T. signed on (06:11:49 PM)>
(06:12) SisAIM: S*** said for me to tell you, something.
(06:13) SisAIM: Your sister is under a name you will never find out. You will never know a thing, because you showed you do not care when your father was sick.
(06:13) SisAIM: God, your mom is a (pardon me) a bitch.
(06:15) Andrei: What town were you in for the hospitqal? Neighborhood?
(06:16) SisAIM: near Waterworks mall.
(06:19) Andrei: Look. I just got off the phone with th ehospital. They aren’t telling me anything. Until D*** gives concent, they will lie to me. I can’t take much more of this. I’m really losing it out here. I need concrete evidense. Because with everythign I’ve been told so far, I still have nothing to go on. I can’t take anymore of this. I haven’t heard a voice, a face, a name. I need something. And all of my mother’s bile is for naught.
(06:20) Andrei: Further, while I don’t wish to pass information thru you to her. I am not speaking to her. I cared very much for my father and I didn’t lie to my relatives that he’d died in August. She did. That’s why I wasn’t there for him. I wasn’t told. I was lied to.
(06:20) SisAIM: WE (D*** and I) will call you tomorrow! Can we do that? She would like that.
(06:20) Andrei: I’m logging off now. I can’t take any more right now.
(06:20) SisAIM: Sorry!
(06:20) Andrei: I will be on tomorrow after 9 pacific from the office.
(06:20) SisAIM: Ok.
(06:20) Andrei: both hospitals have my phone number. Francis and margaret. They can reach me.
(06:21) SisAIM: Ok.
<D*** T. signed off (06:21:10 PM)>
I can tell you that St. Margraets *is* near the Waterworks. My grandmom’s been in that hospital a few times. It also is a UPMC.
It’s near the VA hospital.
Here’s a map of the location: http://www.upmc.edu/stmargaret/Directions/StMargraetMap.htm
Hey, I had a thought last night, that may help you, (may not as well) but is a different
tactic to try and work on this situation.
Call the police.
Around here, it is hard to find the non-911 numbers, so it may end up being a situation where you need to find someone from the police where you are, to play emmisary to find someone over here you could talk to.
Kind of roundabout, but now that you actually have contact from your sister, (all disclaimers noted) via email, and she does say that your mom has been abusive, that is enough cause for their involvement.
It may not be a situation where they would be able to do any thing more than you have either, However, they CAN bypass the whole “noone is here by that name”. thing, and go into the room, and talk to your sister.
the most important thing that you will have to do when you do call them, is to be as calm and rational sounding as possible. (oscar winning performance, to be sure…)
So that was my thought, Do with it as you see fit.
-C
This was my thought as well. Your sister has sent you a note that she is being abused by your mother – you may have enough information that they may send someone to talk to her. Call the local police – that’s your best bet, I think.
I’m just catching up from my vacation, so I have all this to say:
Gah!
I’m so sorry this is happening.
The whole situation is nuts, and getting worse.
*HUG*
And I agree with Chala – call the cops. They will at least attempt to investigate if you can give them the email and your contact information. Especially if they realize from the email that your sister as much said your mom made her feel like she’d be better off dead. Abuse doesn’t have to be physical to hurt or kill – emotional abuse is deadly, especially by one so good at pushing buttons.
as always… you and yours are in my thoughts. if there’s anything i can do, and you know i mean anything… just let me know.
I agree with the others re: calling the cops. If you can access a local area (for there) white pages, you can find the local precinct, if not, if you call your local precinct, they might be able to tell you how to get their number. Tell the precinct there the situation, that you can send them your sister’s e-mail if necessary. At the very least, they should be able to give you some direction and who/how to contact as to how to find out the truth and not what your mother is telling them to feed you.
Again, wish I could do more. Know we all love you and you are in our thoughts and hearts.
Not sure what services are available out there, but is there a “Public Guardian”? I.E. someone who oversees the care of people unable to care for themselves, regardless of age? That might be an office to contact.
The cops * may * be able to help, but you may also have more success if you can try and contact someone in the social services realm: they often have powers that the police don’t as far as being able to get your sister away from your mother without a trial.
Lainie