Tag Archive: family
I hear him breathe. I wonder if it is normal breathing. I lay next to him wondering if I am doing enough…wondering if I’m not missing something obvious and important.
Was that grumble to hoarse? Should I be checking him for fever? Are we over/underfeeding him? is that a bister, a rash, allergy? Will I always be strong when she needs me?
I find myself impatiently waiting for the time where I’m searching for the answers to everyone of his questions. But now… I just hope I make it day to day being there when and as needed for them.
As I lay down… I see myself wantimg to be 6 again. I lay in my fiberglass, racing car bed. I see my room growing up…my desk, my windows…
But the safety of that time is gone… I am a little boy grown up…
I hope I am doing this right.
Please understand.. I love my shimmeringjemmy more dearly than I can ever express. And the fact that she is 20 weeks along is a wondrous thing.
That being said, she is a territorial sleeper. The bed becomes the board for a game of risk that she slowly annexes through the night. About 10 minutes before she awoke, I realized that she’d rolled herself to cordon off about 70% of the bed.
Her first general is a big, black, ball of fur that often walks into the center of the remaining space and sits in there holding the contents immobile while her leader rolls to annex more space.
This is usually the clue that it’s time for me to abandon my loosing battle for bed-space and go downstairs to perform my task at private, last-class and give refill the food bowl for the aforementioned “Big, black, ball of fur.”
And yet.. it’s more amusing than anything else.