Well kids, this is my journal, so there. I’ve got stuff to write about. If you don’t want to hear about it… don’t read ahead…<\/p>\n
\nWell, after a long discussion with the friend I pissed off on Friday…I decided to call for a shrink. My mood swings have been bordering on the obnoxious of late and tonight was no exception.<\/p>\n
For those that don’t know me well enough; I’m an occultist in an initiatory order. The practice is called thelema. The order is the OTO. One of our holidays is to celebrate the 3 days of the writing of (the 3 chapters of) the Book of the Law. This is for the most part the ‘holy’ book of the order.<\/p>\n
Monday was Nuit. One can call her the loving female energy…
\nFor some reason after the ritual I felt wasted and uneasy. Strange as I consider myself a hedonist.<\/p>\n
Last night was Hadit: One can call him the infinitely small ever present bringer of life
\nThis gave me a rare charge of alpha male energy. Felt like giving the world the finger and not caring.<\/p>\n
Tonight was Ra-Hoor: I still don’t get the 3rd chapter of the book. It’s just strange. And the anxiety it caused was right in par with some of my dips of late. I felt violent, I felt alone. That feeling is wearing off, but I still feel like a hermit. Don’t know if I want to talk to anyone for a day or two….<\/p>\n
Course, I don’t really get a choice in that.<\/p>\n
Maybe I’ll feel better after some sleep :-\/<\/p>\n
Grrr
\nMore details later.<\/p>\n