I found this list on the front desk of my office this morning. So I had to track it down.
Apparently James Harrison is now replacing both Chuck Norris and Charles Nelson Riley as the dangerous person on the block.
I finally found the list on a thread on Planet Steelers at the Pittsburgh Steelers Forum under the thread “The Legend of James Harrison.”
Enjoy… Add a few if you like.
- If you have five dollars and James Harrison has five dollars, James Harrison has more money than you.
- There is no ‘ctrl’ button on James Harrison’s computer. James Harrison is always in control.
- Apple pays James Harrison 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
- James Harrison can sneeze with his eyes open.
- James Harrison can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
- James Harrison is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- James Harrison destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
- James Harrison can kill two stones with one bird.
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for James Harrison.
- James Harrison doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures James Harrison has allowed to live.
- Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with James Harrison.
- James Harrison does not sleep. He waits.
- James Harrison is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
- James Harrison is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- James Harrison counted to infinity – twice.
- When James Harrison does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
- James Harrison is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
- James Harrison’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
- James Harrison can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
- James Harrison doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
- James Harrison can slam a revolving door.
- James Harrison does not get frostbite. James Harrison bites frost
- Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching hearing James Harrison was born.
- The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
The only thing fear itself has to fear is James Harrison.