I just read an article that impressed me. It’s from Netscape’s Healthy Kids section.
Now, I’ve gotten to the point where anything that looks like it might be sold at the checkout line in a super market is something that translates in my brain to “Fluff.”
Cosmo, People, and even Time. It’s just stuff to fill up your brain with impression rather than anything of value. (And I know I’m going to get flack for daring to call “Time” ‘fluff’)
So, Heathy Parenting magazines… I am kind of wary. Everyone who’s ever been a parent has given me that , “Oh, yeah… Go read the magazines.. Sure.. that’ll help” line that drips with so much sarcasm that I have to wear hip waders.
That being noted… The article was on the 10 things your teenage daughter doesn’t tell you. the article impressed me because to be honest, it handled the teenage mind very much in the manner that I remember mine working.
The article made me actually feel good because I have mentally tried to transcend the gut reaction to many of the points brought up by the article. One point talks about how teens want to be (or be with) a celebrity. I was like that as a kid… (Who says I still don’t have dreams of people 100 years from now walking on the sidewalk in Hollywood and thinking, “Andrei who?” The writer comments about not dismissing the childs dreams but helping them understand the machine and careers and encouraging their pursuits.
My favourite in the list is “I’m not religious, but I’m spiritual” If that is the worst thing I have to deal with… I’ll be very happy.
Again… Good article 🙂 At least in my wholly unexperienced world view.
Parenting..
I remember the article that first triggered these feelings for me. The advice that stuck was, “Pick your battles” and “Once they get to be a certain age, tell them your opinion/preference twice, then hush up. (Not for life threatening things, of course)” (I’m sure I’m paraphrasing.)
So, when my 14-year-old dyed her beautiful honey-blonde hair blue-back, my heart turned over, but I didn’t berate her. Ditto the first tattoo, and several other outward transformations. Why fight those battles? And, in time, I’ve come to understand her reasons and what those things do for her.
She never got pregnant, never was on drugs, didn’t run away (well, at least not until she got to be 20), and so on.
So, I’m hoping the same attitude will work with Duncan 😉
Time = Worse the fluff
Time is probably one of the biggest offenders of polluting the media with religious-based propaganda. My ex-husband had a subscrip for a year and was so disgusted he finally stopped reading it and threw it out when it came.
Calling it fluff was being Nice.
Two things:
1. It is a good article, but you shouldn’t set yourself up to believe they will never tell you these things. My son has initiated conversations on EVERY single one of these topics with me in the last year, and we have had deep and honest talk about them. They have to trust you, and to do that, they need you to respect their feelings, who they are, and above all, get the hell out of the way of their Will, and support it every chance you get.
2. I really enjoyed Mothering magazine for new parents. As you said, all magazines are fluffy, or at least most of them, but this one had some advice, ideas and suggestions that I used to success.
As with any advice I give on parenting, YMMV. I got lucky and had a kid who taught me how to parent him.
Hugs!
Ditto to this
My daughter didn’t bring up the topics as often as my son has, but we did get around to most of them at some point — D younger and J older. Your and their mileages will vary.
I advertise in those magazines…Remember, they’re just glorified catalogs.
I have found that there is some value to magazines like “Parents” and “Parenting” and i’m glad that i’ve subscribed to them for the last couple of years. I also am ending my subscriptions because I don’t feel like I need them any more. I have more friends with children and I feel more comfortable with my parenting style and with Lake in general.
Most of the time they were just useful because it let me know that we weren’t alone, and that helped. Being the only people in our close circle of friends with children made it both easier and harder to be parents at first.