Yesterday, shimmeringjemmy asked me to “throw a blanket in her direction.”
One line and a digression:
For those who haven’t had a baby, the baby blanket is akin to the hitchhiker’s towel or the sonic screwdriver. It is the closest thing that we as humans have to deus ex machina in the non-fictional world.
I tossed the blanket across the room with the verve of a down-field, hail-mary. A slender female arm shot up and snatched the towel mid course, reminding me momentarily of the tribulations my football team is going through. Ironically I thought to myself and voiced, “Sorry, that was a bit hard, perhaps a shovel pass would have been better.”
She looked at me and smiled, “No, it’d seem my reflexes have really improved.”
This was obvious to me; but for some asinine reason, I felt the need to demonstrate it.
I sat down next to her and said, “of course your reflexes have improved. Let me demonstrate.” I looked at her for a moment or two. She looked down at aiden_freeman, then looked back at me. I sat one moment longer and then started to waver and lean forward as if my balance had given out and I was going to slump to one side.
The well tooled female arm shout out to catch me from falling over. It moved with machine speed and precision. Unfortunately, the machine had not been calibrated for a body over 25″ As her left fist connected with my jaw in the vain hopes to lead the cradling arm to wrap itself around my non-infant back; the concussive force extended my theory of parental reflexes.
Short translation: I was laughing too hard through the pain and shimmeringjemmy‘s apologies.
Here endeth the science lesson.
