Today I called Domino’s Pizza. This was the exchange:
M: I’d like a small pizza.
D: Okay what would you like on your ‘Medium’
M: Uh, no. A small.
D: Yes, Medium is our smallest.
When did we give up on words entirely?
When will I be able to go to a car lot and buy one of the NEW ’94 Models.
Adjectives have gotten to the point where we are innondated in False Advertising. Am I crazy? Does this get anyone else’s dander up?
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It bugs me a lot. Not quite so much the mismatched adjectives as the problem that everything America is so damn big. I mean, go to an ice cream parlor or other dessert place and ask for a “small.” I bet you anything you won’t get less than 12 oz, and in most places, not less than 16 oz. I know they’re trying for business, but in my world, that is not “small.” I usually can’t finish 16+ oz of ice cream (or I get sick if I do), so I either have to find someone to share with (rare) or throw away half of it. And then I figure that if I’m gonna pay that much money and waste half of it, I may as well just skip it entirely. And while that may be better for my health overall, it takes a lot of fun out of eating for me.
One of my favorite places to grab a dessertsnack at is Rita’s Italian Ices, because their “small” is a nice little 4oz cup. Mmm, perfect.
That annoys me, too. When there are three sizes, they should be “small”, “medium”, and “large”, not “medium”, “large”, and “biggee”. I think this started with drinks at fast-food places, but it has since expanded to other food at those places (fries, in particular), ice cream, and, as you’ve seen, pizzas.
It’s gotten so bad, and inconsistent, with drinks that I’ve gotten into the habit of asking for “a 20-ounce drink” or “a 12-ounce drink” or whatever, because I don’t want to find myself with a quart when I didn’t mean to. But most of the counter folks at places like this don’t know the sizes, so it can be a challenge.
Actually, I just taught myself to estimate drink volume by just looking at the cup. The only sizes you really see are 8oz (rare), 12oz (small), 16oz (med), 21oz (alt med), or 32 (lg). (Beyond that is just “too big.”)
You can also look at the bottom of any cup to see the size. It’s usually in teeny tiny black writing around the inside bottom rim. Just look for any number, and it’s probably the one you want.